Tags
dream, dreams, emotions, energy, fall, family, food, intentions, power, romance, thinking, understanding, vibes, vision
…to share a vision I had after some more malicious venom I found. This vision was more like a dream, which happened last night honestly. I wasn’t going to share it because I thought it might only add fuel to the fire, but perhaps God is sending a message through me? Who knows. I don’t pretend to.
I was up in town in the back of my truck selling pumpkins. So this had to be in the fall, probably October, and it was some sort of festival or flea market day. I was in the back of my pick up truck filled with pumpkins and hay bales. Paul was also there, to the side of the truck, arranging pumpkins and other things so our display looked very nice. My two sons that I gave birth to were on top of the hood with huge cardboard signs that read pumpkins small $5 and large $10. It was very reminiscent of when I was selling pears to make the bills. I knew immediately this was a dream, as I was dreaming it, because Alestria doesn’t live at home and could make more money just working his job. So, I mentally filed that away as a representation of something.
I was watching the crowd of people and occassionally selling a pumpkin or two. It was odd too because as I was dreaming, I was thinking I didn’t even plan a pumpkin patch this year. Actually, I didn’t even plant one either. I typically don’t grow pumpkins. So again, something was being represented here, but what? I was sitting at the edge of the tail gate with this huge pumpkin in front of me, right where a pregnant belly would be. I was just holding onto it/leaning on it when I spotted my ex, his wife, and my other son amongst the crowd. I watched them for a while. They seemed genuinely interested in the various booths and just going about their life peacefully, but then my son looked up and saw me. He said something to his father and pointed towards me. I was curious, but didn’t see what was being said or even the energy behind it.
My ex spoke to his wife about something and she got very angry. They were gesturing at me when they argued or disagreed. I was intrigued. How does my existence cause a woman to be that pissed off at the man she loves? It made me quite sad for him. I kept the huge pumpkin in front of my belly and tried to take my mind off the matter. For some reason, I was holding onto this pumpkin, twisting and half turned around arranging the pumpkin pie pumpkins or sugar babies and when I turned back to the front, there the three of them were.
“Do you want to buy a pumpkin? Five dollars for a small one and ten dollars for a large one.” I said almost reflexively. It looked like she tried to smile, but instead it came across as a wrinkled nose and a grimace. I didn’t know how to take that. I’m sure my face drew back in disgust. I think an “ugh,” escaped my mouth softly.
“No,” she smiled at me pleasantly after seeing the look on my face, but her eyes hid another emotion.
I just kinda sat there staring at her with my arms wrapped around this huge pumkpin that sat between my legs and in front of my belly wondering “Then what do you want lady?” “Erm, okay.” Is what came out. “What can I help you with?” I was still in full on customer service mode. I do that when I am out in the public a lot.
“Can you stop looking at my husband please?” She smiled, but it seemed like a veiled threat behind teeth which glistened like knives. Her demeanor seemed small, but the smell of anger and jealousy hung around her like an old friend. I stared hard at this woman wondering who the hell she thought she was and where such entitlement came from.
Then, I laughed. “Seriously?” I looked around to see if anyone else saw the insanity that just walked up to the back of my truck. “I don’t know if anyone informed you, but this happens to be a free country,” I leaned in whispering like I was sharing a secret just between us girls. I could see Paul cock an eye brow. He could tell something was amiss, because my normally pleasant customer service voice was just a pinch strained. Although, I was laughing, I was wondering what comes next. I thought may be she would try to deck me or something. I mean, that would be par for the course for the psychopaths I dealt with in the past.
“Well, I mean you did ask my husband for a child,” she spoke louder to make sure everyone in the truck’s vicinity could hear. Then she glared at me. I was looking at my ex and he had a very stoic look on his face. He refused to make eye contact. This felt almost like a hostage situation to me and he was the hostage. I looked at my son, the one that spoke with his father, and he shook his head no gently. Oh, so that is what this is. I thought to myself.
“And?” I smiled. I could hear Paul chuckle behind me. He knew what this was going to be too. The two boys on the hood were quietly whispering to each other and their father. I could hear Paul reassuring them that everything is fine and to just keep hawking the pumpkins.
“Don’t you think that was a tad bit inappropriate since he is married to me?” She said somewhat sarcastically.
I cocked an eyebrow and looked at my son in front of me and then back to her, “Don’t you think it’s inappropriate for me to not see my son?” I thumped on the pumpkin lightly. It rang out hollow. It reminded me that I wanted a baby and all I had was a pumpkin. “Besides,” I offered. “The manner in which I asked for a child should have zero to do with you. It was completely non-sexual.” I really felt that the manner I requested was completely above board too. Even now as I sit back and think on it, if someone asked the same thing of my husband, I would probably get a good laugh, tell her sure, and welcome the additional part of the family in, especially, if I knew that she had the same intentions as me.
“He’s MY husband,” was her response. I remember someone else having that same possessive air to them when I met her brother. I forget her name, but it felt the same. I’m older now and know a thing or two about this type of female so I didn’t react, but inside there was a lot of turmoil. After seeing the hell that man went through, I have come to hate such women…even though I do understand them. I can’t say I am completely free of jealousy, but there comes a point where walking away is much easier and more in line with my values. She was getting heated, but trying to keep her cool. She looked around before poking a finger at me, “you stay away or else you will regret it.”
I looked around to see if I was just imagining this crazy lady coming up and threatening me. No, I wasn’t. All eyes were on her. Paul, all three of my boys, my ex, the jam seller in his truck bed, and even the lady buying jam at the truck next to us were watching my ex’s wife very closely. I cocked my head after taking in the scene completely, “I’m not sure that I’m the one you need to worry about.” I just smiled. I didn’t know why, but I was completely at peace with my decision to disregard her threats.
Wielding power is not like wielding a sword.